Scary Nonprofit Quotes 2024

October 24, 2024

Welcome to the 3rd not-quite annual edition of Scary Nonprofit Quotes.

I authored the original edition in 2021 as Halloween approached and a follow-up in 2022.  After a one-year hiatus, I’m back.

I’ve wracked my brain and reviewed notes from the year. So without further adieu, here are the scariest things I’ve heard uttered by nonprofit leaders during the last couple of years.  Some of these may seem made up, but they’re not!

If you have a scary quote of your own, please add them as comments!

Scary Quotes, 2024 Edition

  1. I knew 10 years ago our fundraising database was a mess and needed to be replaced, but it just never seemed like the right time.

  2. I know this is what most of the people we had you interview said, but I don’t think they get nonprofits.  (Note: the people interviewed actually had more nonprofit experience than the board chair who uttered this].

  3. I can’t continue to be board chair of this organization unless the organization starts paying me as a contractor.

  4. I don’t believe we should work with deadlines or agreed upon objectives. 

  5. I don’t use talking points or write up what I’m going to say at our fundraising events. I prefer to wing it.   I’m not sure I could tell you what I said after the fact. 

  6. I know it’s a headache, but I’ll just leave that to the next Executive Director to deal with [after I leave in about 2 years].

  7. I don’t care if our board minutes are accurate.  Nobody will ever read them.

  8. I like to just use general topics for meeting agendas rather than specific questions.  I prefer to just let the meeting unfold.

  9. High staff turnover is something we just have to accept given we’re a nonprofit and therefore don’t pay well.

  10. I think I should be able to bring my wife to the board meeting. [notwithstanding the confidential information/topics that will be covered].

Let’s do a poll!  Please vote for your favorite Scary Quote of 2024.  I’ll be sure to post the results on Halloween. 

Please also comment if you have your own scary quotes you’d like to share!

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4 Comments »

  1. #1 is the Food Front situation. Thier database is so corrupt that they don’t even know who the coop members are!!! Now that they’re selling the building and property, they don’t know who to distribute the sale proceeds to!!! So they are proposing to just give the money away. Amazing.

    Comment by john devoe — October 25, 2024 @ 11:20 am

  2. #7

    The scary quote we hear the most is, oh everybody makes mistakes, it’s no big deal.

    Comment by Sandy Wilhoit — November 1, 2024 @ 11:54 am

  3. O.M.G. This is a collection of the most unconscionable comments I’ve seen…although, I’ve heard several of them uttered by some of my prospective clients [the ones that obviously prove to be the most challenging]. Thanks for sharing your list…the worst of which [IMHO] are #s 1, 3, 4 and, 6…all tying for first/worst..!

    Comment by Dean Pulliam — November 1, 2024 @ 2:57 pm

  4. I knew 10 years ago our fundraising database was a mess and needed to be replaced, but it just never seemed like the right time.

    Comment by Maauricio — November 18, 2024 @ 7:58 am

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