Jonathan Poisner Strategic Consulting

When people say they are “afraid” of making fundraising asks one-on-one with a prospective donor, there are many facets to that fear.

One is the age-old fear of rejection.  Everyone fears rejection to some degree.  We fear it in our personal lives when we ask people to do something or in our professional lives.

Even the most magnificent major donor fundraiser will feel rejection.  Indeed, if they don’t sometimes receive a “no,” it undoubtedly means they aren’t asking enough people to donate.

There’s no magic solution to this challenge.

But there are some mental techniques that have helped other fundraisers get past this fear.

For one, we can recalibrate in our minds what we mean by success.  Don’t judge success by school standards (90% = an A, 80% = a B, etc.).  Judge yourselves by major donor fundraiser standards (anything better than 50% yes is pretty darn good).

Another tool is to recognize that most “no’s” are really “yes” to something else.  You may be “selling” hamburgers while they want hot dogs.  You may be selling environmental protection while they want to feed the hungry.  In other words, they may have other nonprofits or campaigns they wish to prioritize.  Or, in other cases, really valid personal needs that they need to prioritize.  It will be an exceptionally rare circumstance where someone will say “no” to you while saying they’re going to invest their dollars in something you actively oppose.

Another thing to always bear in mind is that many “no’s” are actually “not now.” They may have already given away all they can during the period in time, but perhaps you’ve set them up for a big gift next year.  Your success is having primed the pump for a future ask that will succeed.

And even beyond future gifts, you can learn to recognize the many other positive outcomes that can come out of a relationship-focused donor meeting even if no gift materializes.  They can volunteer.  They may have offered ideas you like for how the organization can do something differently.  You may learn about something else happening in the community.  You may get leads or referrals to other donor prospects.  I’ve experienced each of these outcomes and by focusing on the positive, the “sting” of rejection quickly faded.

In the end, all the mental tricks in the world won’t fully eliminate the momentary feeling that something is awry when people tell us “no.”  It’s still part of our human nature.  But by thinking consciously about it, successful major donor fundraisers can quickly go from “fear” of rejection to embracing the good that comes out of any one-on-one donor meeting.

If you have other techniques you have used to get past your own fear of fundraising, please let me know!

On June 2nd in Portland, I’ll be offering a special 3 hour workshop I’ve put together on the essentials of an effective major donor program.

It will be tailored for no more than 20 participants.

Learn more about the workshop and register online.  

I recently put together a presentation for The Databank on effective donor stewardship, which some people call donor cultivation.

You can check out the slides from the webinar below.

One of the truisms of fundraising, corroborated by expert fundraisers across nearly every type of nonprofit is that meeting in-person with donors almost always provides the best way to upgrade a donor to a more significant level of giving.

Which begs the question, where do you meet with them?

Rather than rushing ahead to the answer, start by reminding yourself: why are you meeting with them?

In general, you’re meeting with them to:

• Get to know them better
• Have them get to know you better
• Have them better understand how the organization’s work matches up with their values
• Ask for their support.

Given those goals, the major area of concern would be if the location is not sufficiently private for people to feel comfortable discussing their values or their money.  Likewise, the venue shouldn’t be so noisy that it interferes with the flow of the conversation.

So in order of priority, I’d suggest asking them if they’d like to meet at their home or place of business.

You can say something like: “I’d be happy to meet you at your home or work if that’s convenient to you, or we can figure out some other option.”

If they leave you the choice, opt for the home.

If they say they are interseted in another option, my next recommendation would be if you have some location that demonstrates the value of your work.  This could be a mini-tour.  But only if there’s a quiet place to talk and sit down while doing so.

If nothing like that fits the bill, I’d then suggest your office.  But that’s only if your office meets standards of professionalism that will match up with a donors’ expectations.

Lastly, if that’s not feasible, suggest a coffee shop or restaurant.  A public location is least likely to be conducive to the conversaion and most likely to offer up distractions.  With that said, it’s sometimes the right choice.  While you want to go somewhere good, prioritize places you know are usually not busy.  The last thing you want is for you and the donor to show up at a coffee shop where there’s no place to sit.

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When I’m asked what are the most important attributes for an effective major donor fundraiser, I often say: “nothing beats being naturally curious.”  Because a good fundraiser doesn’t talk at a prospect, he or she has a conversation and comes away learning a great deal about the donor/prospect.   For people who’re naturally curious, this comes easily as they’re full of questions.

Of course, not everyone is naturally curious.  Others need to be more conscious of the power of asking good questions and think ahead of time about potential questions to ask.

Good questions accomplish a variety of goals within a major donor meeting.

• They elicit informaion about what the donor thinks about your work.
• They elicit information about what else the donor cares about.
• They evoke passion in the donor.
• They help the donor identify the connection between their personal values and the organization’s work.

Here are some examples of questions that accomplish these goals.

What do you love about your work?

Why did you first get interested in X?  (X could be their career, their volunteer work, a cause, a hobby, etc.)

Why does our cause matter to you?

Which of our programs are most appealing to you?

What’s the best gift you ever made?

What are your top philanthropic priorities?

The list could, of course, be much longer.  And perhaps importantly, you should prime yourself to ask follow-up questions as people answer these in ways that generate more questions in your mind.

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